The Man in The Shed

21st February. There goes the FA Cup / Malmo part two

There are times as a football supporter when, despite your heart saying otherwise, you just know how a game is going to pan out. Sitting in the East Stand last Monday was a case in point. We’re 20 minutes in and you know we’re not going to score. The referee can add 120 minutes of injury time and we’re not even going to test the keeper, let alone hit the back of the net.

But this is Chelsea, so three days later and here I am, back in my regular vantage point and off we go again. Could we be the first team to fall out of three cup competitions (even quicker than Arsenal) in seven days ? So many questions in my head – are the players in tonight’s starting eleven the ones left who still believe in the manager’s philosophy, the ones who are unlikely to play in the cup final or is this actually squad rotation ? There’s clearly been a selection mistake as who will come on for Barkley with Kovacic already on the pitch ? And with Kepa out, how is it that Rob Green can’t warm the bench ? This time after 20 minutes my heart is still begging for a win but my head is now saying thank god the blokes in the light blue are just back from a winter break and are the oldest squad since the Second World War. They’ve got fabulous away support of course – just about everyone who sends more than fifty people to the Bridge these days seems to outsing our 39,000 – but that’s a story for another day.

In the absence of any excitement much of the terrace talk has moved on to the cup final – the general consensus being a) how badly we might lose b) is it worth going c) the disappointment that we probably couldn’t flog our tickets anyway as the game didn’t appear to be a sell-out. A quick look at the BBC text reporting of the game which summarises “Sarri-ball” with the phrase ‘sideways-pass’ over twenty times. And then half time arrives – no goals and absolute ambivalence from the Chelsea fans. No cheering, no booing – just silence.

The second half at least begins with some excitement. Sadly it is off the pitch where the away fans have decided to stop singing and light flares instead. Whilst I try to imagine just how they managed to get so many of these into the ground I notice the referee checking with big Willy if he is struggling to see through the smoke now enveloping the Chelsea goalmouth. A big thumbs up from the keeper and the game continues.

We finally get some excitement on the pitch – but this is a lone fan deciding that he’s so bored he’d rather run across the pitch and be evicted. At this point, nobody could blame him.

Then out of nowhere Kanté steals the ball, runs directly at the Malmo defence, passes out to Willian who pings it into the 6 yard box for Giroud to tap in. Where did that come from ? Twenty minutes later Emerson is brought down driving forward towards the area and who steps up and scores – Barkley – now it is getting silly. Add some icing to the cake by finishing off with Hudson-Odoi scoring and all of a sudden we’ve remembered how to win football matches again.

Football eh – only another three days to wait and the small matter of another team in light blue to play at Tottenham’s ground.

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