The Man in The Shed

23^rdApril – Anti-football

It was back at the Bridge on an Easter Monday evening. With engineering works on the trains and the thought of returning to work the next day you had to have some sympathy for Burnley fans. They would be setting off for home at ten o’clock with at least a four hour journey. It was nice to hear that their club had been offering subsidised tickets and travel – spot on !

I’d had to walk to the ground from Earls Court but that might have helped counter-balance the excess of chocolate consumed in the last few days. It wasn’t all bad news of course. We’d just had a Bank Holiday weekend in April with sun and 20+ degree warmth. I was sitting in the Shed without a coat or jumper.

The team news was positive with our three Academy graduates (Christensen, Loftus-Cheek and Hudson-Odoi) all in the starting eleven alongside Hazard and Higuain. Rüdiger and Alonso presumably given a little longer to overcome injuries.

The home fans sure seemed up for the game (perhaps encouraged by a few cool beers to counter the warm weather) and the team started on the front foot with an early corner and a half chance. After two or three good opportunities it was disappointing to see Burnley wasting time almost from the off. To add insult to injury their very first chance was (yet another) unstoppable shot from outside the area. That was probably the 4^th time in three games the ball had smashed past Kepa from distance.

So now we’re behind to a team determined to slow the game down at every opportunity – how would we respond – remarkably well. Hazard weaved around inside the box to set up Kanté for a smart finish and then Higuain absolutely lashed in a shot a few minutes later.

Burnley’s immediate response was for their keeper to get booked for persistent delays taking goal kicks. Could we see a keeper off for two yellows with still over an hour left to play ?

A dubious free kick to Burnley after what appeared to be a shoulder on shoulder challenge by Luiz. The resultant free kick into the area and nobody challenges Mee who heads across goal for a second Burnley goal. Was this Sarri-ball football again ?

We were still looking dangerous going forward and then an innocuous failure by Hudson-Odoi to control a high ball resulted in the young man dropping to the turf. To be honest it appeared he’d gone down with a damaged ego and I said as much. Little did I (or anyone else) realise the extent of the injury. As we now know he’s unlikely to play again (for anyone) in 2019. Tragic for the lad.

So on comes Pedro – but which Pedro would we see ? The one who tormented Prague or the one who disappeared at Everton ? An early chance fell to him but surprised that the ball was not cut out he could not convert.

Half time arrived without a further goal for a whole 20 minutes.

We’d been very fortunate over the weekend with surprise loses for United and Arsenal plus City finally beating Spurs. Could we take advantage by beating a Burnley side still (mathematically) not safe from relegation ?

As I watched all of the Burnley subs out on the pitch kicking a ball around I started to ponder how the half time break might affect the team today. We didn’t have a three goal lead to fall back on tonight.

It was nearly 9 o’clock and we were all still without the need of a coat – global warming eh !

The restart came with another Chelsea substitution – Kovacic for Kanté (unknown at the time he had been injured but not well received by us fans).

The Zigger zagger man’s “Dad” kicked off the chanting in the Shed at the start of the half. It also alerted me to the fact that there were a good couple of thousand empty seats around the ground (and annoyed me that clubs continue to report seats sold rather than people attending a game).

Well we managed to avoid conceding at the start of a second half for a change. Burnley’s only two shots on target had accumulated two goals. Most of the attacking intent continued to be by the home side although Higuain breathed a sigh of relief (having been bullied into giving up the ball in our half) after Burnley fluffed a great chance.

The game had now settled into attack against defence. After the brainless first half an hour Burnley had resorted to plan A (park the bus). Could we break them down ? Lots of last ditch defending by the claret and blue shirts as we continued to make chances. The Matthew Harding end were roaring on the team but clear chances were scarce.

Giroud replaced Higuain but despite repeated crosses from Emerson nothing offered a clear heading chance. Too many crosses reached the far post where no Chelsea player was anywhere near. Burnley continued to execute plan B – each player in turn to go down with an “injury” as they smothered any attacking momentum. This was becoming frustrating and whilst “professional” from an underdog under pressure it was now winding up the Chelsea players and coaching staff in addition to us fans.

A petulant foul by Kovacic resulted in “handbags” from both teams as the timewasting became more blatant. The final whistle and a collective sigh from those of us still in the ground. As I queued to leave (it takes ages from the Shed Upper) I suddenly realised that the “handbags” were out for both benches too !

There was plenty of time to contemplate the last two hours as I marched back to Earls Court. Why did so many Chelsea fans leave in the final ten minutes whilst Burnley (200+ miles from home) cheered to the end ? Two goals aside, our two central defenders (Christensen and Luiz) had coped well with the physical threat of Wood and Barnes (still the only man to have upset Matic on a football field). In fact Christensen looked the most aggressive I have ever seen him – most welcome in Rüdiger’s absence.

We’d missed a great chance to take advantage of our rivals’ failings.

A whole six days until another big game away to United.