The Man in The Shed

5th November – Insane

Sitting in The Shed awaiting the game I wondered what kind of atmosphere we might get without Ajax fans (serving a ban). Would they have found a crafty way around this (as did a couple of hundred fans at a recent Spurs UCL game) ?

It appeared not. Almost half of the designated away area seemed to be filling up with home support. Also, the ridiculous rule which normally forced us to keep several rows of home seats unsold to satisfy home/away support ratios seemed to have been binned too.

No great surprises on the team sheet other than the absence of Kanté after Lampard said he was fit.

Well the fun started early. Our first defending of an Ajax set-piece resulted in a goal – an own-goal (Abraham). That’s two already this season. Do these count against you in golden ball competitions ?

It could have be a long night I said to myself. Before I’d even finished that mental sentence we’d been awarded a penalty. Choruses of “Jaw-Jean-Eeoh” echoed around the stadium and with a hop, skip and jump it was 1-1 with 4 minutes gone.

And breathe ….

Abraham had a goal disallowed soon afterwards – I was watching the lino before the ball even hit the net fearing the worst. It seemed the whole team had got out of bed the wrong side – there was no fluidity in our play and the crowd was soon silent. Ominous.

Sure enough, a few minutes later and a great cross from our left and it was headed in for 1-2. Our defence was more porous than ever.

It seemed it took half an hour before we really woke up. And then we gave away another free kick out to our left. The cross sails over Kepa, off the post, hits Kepa in the face and goes in. Just about everything that could go wrong already had.

The final straw in the first half was to see Tomori actually beaten for pace. So shocked was he that he hacked down the attacker and was booked. I’d been optimistic to assume all the bad stuff was finished.

The crowd (including me) seemed in something of a disbelieving trance during half time. A disjointed performance, two own goals – had we got all the bad luck out of our system in 45 minutes ?

The stats. looked great. Ajax – 1 attempt on target – 3 goals scored ???

So how to change our luck ? Switch to a back 5 ? Nobody seemed an obvious candidate for worst player. Lampard did the positive change and hooked Alonso, swapped Dave to left back and on came James.

Well the second half had to be just damage limitation – right ? Zouma sets off on a mazy run and shoots high into the stands. Cue smiles all around. Abraham breaks the offside line and is one on one with the keeper – saved.

Then Tomori is beaten again near the corner flag and we concede again – 1-4. Now how would this young team respond ? I feared for them with 35 minutes still to go.

No surrender though. Eight minutes later and Dave just about stays onside to toe in a cross from 1 yard out. Fighting for some pride.

Then the two minutes of insanity which I can honestly say exceeds anything I have seen at a live game.

Jorginho is fouled, Abraham carried on, also gets fouled, Hudson-Odoi carried on, shot and it hit the defender’s arm. Suddenly the ref. is dishing out cards like sweets on Halloween. One red, more arguing by Ajax players and another red.

And then we realise we had a penalty too – seriously ?

Another hop, skip and jump and it is 3-4. Half an hour against 9 men.

Three minutes later a Chelsea corner is headed onto the bar by Zouma, bounces out for James to smash in – 4-4. Now we could win surely. Ajax will resort to time wasting and cynical diving surely.

Wrong again.

77 minutes gone and yet another Chelsea attack. Last ditch blocks and saves keep the ball out before Dave smashes the ball in again. Seriously ?

Then the long VAR pause. A referee finally runs over to the pitch-side screen. No goal, handball.

Ajax were still attacking and it needed a great Kepa save to keep the scores level.

Batshuayi tested the keeper again but well saved.

The final surprise – only 4 minutes of added time.

That was it. A crazy night of football and the only time I can remember being disappointed that we’d only drawn after being 3 goals down.

So 8 goals, 2 own goals, none of the Chelsea goals scored by attacking players, 2 red cards and 2 disallowed goals.

I needed a lay down. What I actually got was a long walk to Earls Court because of another Underground issue.

And just to finish it off I nearly walked into former Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne.

Great team spirit, great desire, great game and terrible defending. Wow.